Monday, October 13, 2008

Azure Dea Starkes



Well Today is the 1 year mark of the passing of our sweet Azure. It is also my oldest son, Brian's, birthday. Azure was my sister-in-law as all of you know, she was also one of my best friends. When we got the news that afternoon the phones were ringing. Everyone wanted to know if what they were hearing was true. Unfortunately they heard the news correct. My sister Mandy was in Utah and didn't have good service so she didn't find out till a tad later. She wanted to be with us so bad. I guess what I am trying to say is we as a family made sure our family knew and no one was left out. There was a feeling I got at that time and a feeling I still have alot of the time is, "there is someone who needs to know", or" I think I forgot to tell somebody". It is an empty spot, I know it is my need to tell my dear friend Azure SOMETHING! That day I felt like we needed to tell her, but obviously we couldn't and she knew anyway. When I found out I was prego, I wanted to call her and tell her cause she loved being a mom and I bet if she was still with us she would have had another baby by now. I don't have too many bad days anymore so don't think I am having a pity party on my blog. I love Azure and miss her dearly, as all of us do I know. I feel guilty with everyone who has lost someone lately and I am bringing us Azh, but I had to take this day to reflect and remember her. I really hate expressing myself in writing cause seriously nothing comes out right, but my heart is full and needed to express myself. I can't even say all that I am thinking and pondering on the last few days. All I know is Heavenly Father is loving and has helped our family through this last year, as I know He has helped the Biglers as well. My heart goes out to the Bigler family and thanks them for sharing their daughter with us. We love Azure!

4 comments:

KaNdRa and JaReD said...

I totally know what you are feeling. I went over to the Biglers on Monday and took Gavin with me. When I was there I wished so badly that Azure was there to see him and hold him and tell me "It's about stinkin' time Kandra!". It would have been fun to have babies together. She is definitely missed.

ashley b said...

Brandi,
That was a sweet post. I never did get to know Azure well and wish I had. The first time I met her was when I went to Heber's prom. We were in the same group and I thought she was so funny! That is my main memory of her. I do also remember seeing her in Monti's office when she was pregnant and her telling everyone how excited she was and she just looked it through and through! Anyone could tell she wanted to be a mommy so badly! My heart and prayers have been with all of you and especially her little Eric.
Thank you so much for your concern about Callie as well. It means so much to our family. I am having another giveaway today and hopefully one more before the raffle begins so stop by and hopefully you will win something!

Deni said...

Brandi,

Thanks for the memories. I am so far away from my family that it is nice to read others' memories about her. I can't believe it has been a year already

- Deni

donnabigler said...

Thank you so much for your thoughts. I will never hear (or read) enough about Azure. My arms ache to hold her and my heart aches from the emptiness left there. It truly is a hole which will never be filled. I watch little Eric grow and long to see his mommy laughing at the funny things he does. She always loved to laugh. Her wrinkled nose and beautiful smile will be missed until I can see her again.

To all who have honored our Azure with their thoughts and prayers...we thank you. I pray that each of you will have health and happiness in your families.

We feel deeply blessed to have such an honorable man as Brian as our son-in-law and the father of our beautiful Eric. I pray that his life might be spared any more heartache.

Thank you again, Brandi, for loving Azh and remembering her.